Permission before assumption

Happy November, Reader!

How was October for you?
Here are some things that people said to me last month:

“I need to wait until after the Budget is announced.”
“Once everything calms down, I should get back on top of things.”
“I’ll stick with things as they are until Christmas and then rethink in the New Year.”

Assumptions

Each of the above is an assumption. Assumptions reliant on something ‘out there’ changing before the person making the assumption can move forward.

Assumption is procrastination in disguise. Delays to decisions and outcomes based on a promise that is outside of their control.

The world has gone a bit crazy recently; that is true. And the dis-ease and unpredictability it has created is enough to make even the most courageous soul wobble.

And so we become attracted to patterns that comfort us in troubling times. Familiarity based on the worry-free outcomes we have previously enjoyed. I.e. Doing the same things (whilst we wait for the world to settle) means we’ll get the same results... or so we assume.

If you do what you always do, you’ll get what you always got

BTW, I don’t share the word ‘assumption’ in an accusatory way. It’s simply a well-proven observation. I do, however, want to offer an alternative word.

Permission

Permission to find a way forward on your own terms.
Permission not to wait.
Permission is the first step forward that doesn’t depend on the thing you’re waiting for.

Unpicking the reasons why ‘waiting’ feels right invites a couple of my favourite questions:

What is it you really want from your business (I mean REALLY want)?
Why is that so important to you that you are prepared to take the brave and brilliant action required to make it happen?

Clarity. Bravery.

And then evidence. Unequivocal proof of what happens when you give yourself permission. Your story is already full of moments where you have bravely taken control, it’s just your brain relegates those to the back of the queue whilst seeking out comfort and predictability.

Permission before assumption

I talk about ‘permission’ a lot, because everyone I work with has, essentially, given themselves permission to ask for help. It is a monumental act of courage. And one that I show incredible respect to by NEVER assuming the answer on their behalf.

I have heard those above three statements more than once (not just in October), and from different people. And each person has a very different, very personal reason why ‘waiting’ feels like the right assumption for them. The worst thing I can do is gloss over their hesitation with the toxic positivity of “Just crack on and get it done!”

Those patterns of assumption, that need for safety... it sits deep. And it requires specific and individual support to help someone shift their perspective on what being safe means, as well then giving attention to what happened when they have previously given themselves permission to 'not wait'.

Permission is a much braver step than assumption.
And permission is something only YOU can give to yourself.
Permission before assumption then...
Never assume you have to wait.

I'm talking about 'permission' at the 'Oxfordshire Marketplace and Celebration Awards' this Wednesday (4th November) at Oxford Town Hall. If you can't make it in person, I'm hoping to share some clips after the event.