Affirmations... discuss

Here's an interesting one for you Reader,

We're in that January hinterland between Quitters Day and Blue Monday* where our New Year energy is at its most vulnerable.

Also, there are Easter Eggs in the supermarkets.

Marketers love to tell us what to do and how to feel (spoiler alert – I am about to do the same) What we're told, we believe. What we believe, we become (I've said that before haven't I?).

If the world around us is telling us it's all doom and gloom (so best eat some chocolate), guess what?

Let's tell ourselves marvellous things instead!

Wondrous affirmations to lift our spirits and give us hope.

Simple right? Well, not quite. There are two main reasons why affirmations feel a little 'marmite' for most of us:

1. We've chosen 'the wrong one'
2. We tried it once and didn't like it

When I say 'wrong one', I mean that when we say it out loud (let's use the example "I'm totally confident in everything I do") we don't fully buy into it. It appeals to us because 'confidence' is something we want to work on. But our existing lack of confidence still outweighs that new belief – it tells us "not yet, maybe next year, eh?"

And when I say 'tried it once' I mean we said it out loud and nothing happened. So we didn't say it out loud again.

Change is fricking hard

Kind words are not magic spells (Ouch!)

Change takes time, hard work and consistency. It comes from shifting balance from what we used to believe over to what we NOW choose to believe. And that comes from acting on the new thing more often than acting on the old thing.

We are more likely act when the following things are in place:

1. We've chosen 'the right one'
2. We've surrounded that new belief with reason, value, purpose (it ties directly into our 'why')
3. We've made it as easy as possible to do (we've stripped out the friction)

"Be more confident" is a perfectly valid resolution or affirmation but it is much harder to dilute when you align what 'more confident' means in terms of the difference confidence will actually make.

And whatever 'more confident' looks like for you (picking up the phone, walking into the room, turning up online), work on removing the practical and psychological barriers:

• You don't need the incredible mic and the fancy lighting to do a quick video for socials
• You don't need to have a word-perfect 60sec pitch for that local meet-up (no-one else has)
• You don't need to get a 'yes' every time you make a call

You just need to try more times than you don't try

Mark Franklin, The Four Fears® Guy
​www.markfranklin.co.uk

* If you don't know what either of these are, keep it that way. But if you fancy a Creme Egg, I'm not going to stand in your way.

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